1402: The Pests part 2

Speaker: I've said this once, I'll say it again, this episode, this entire series is not suitable for kids or anyone who does not like offensive language. This is a pretty dark series, so if you're not into that, just check back in when it's done. All right, let's start the show. Previously on Pretend Patrick Tomlinson and his wife, Nikki, say that they've been the victims of gang stalkers. You don't know who I am. Uh, you don't know who any of the people fucking with you are. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you don't know who any of us are. The suspected perpetrators belong to a fan group of a now off the air radio show called The Opie and Anthony Show. They're known as The Pests. Patrick says that these people have devoted the last five years to tormenting him and his family. Whoever's doing this really, really, really hates Patrick Tomlinson. They've sent the police to their house at all hours of the night. I'm not talking about once. Patrick says that they've done this more than 40 times. He says they leave threatening voicemails and send daily text messages to everyone in Patrick's orbit. I'm Javier Leyva and this is Pretend. Stories about real people. Pretending to be someone else. Do you have any children? Uh, I, I have a daughter from a previous marriage that I'm estranged from, uh, which is something that they absolutely love to torment me over. He, I mean, Patrick has always been really honest and open about all of his history. He had approved of it, like his previous, I mean, I knew all of this on our first date, you know, whatever. And he blogged about it. I mean, he. Uh, literally has talked about this in public places on the internet. And so they try to use this against him. Like, oh, he abandoned her and he's, he, he's a pedophile. That's why he can't see her. He abused her. He abused his ex wife. I mean, none of this is true. What happened is. His, his ex wife ran off with his friend while she was pregnant with their baby. So, um, you know, it's pretty fucked up, but like, it wasn't, it takes two people to be in a relationship. But like, you know, it, it wasn't like him doing something horrifying. Like that's, it was a normal, I mean, a normal like relationship. The pest based all of this on a 2011 incident involving Patrick and his ex wife. The police report states that someone called the police because they were concerned over threats Patrick made against his pregnant wife and her new boyfriend. When police questioned Patrick, he admitted that he made threats against the boyfriend but said that he would never hurt his wife and unborn child. The police handcuffed Tomlinson and he posted bail and was released the very same day. As far as I know, this is Patrick's first and only arrest. The pests use reports like this to justify their attacks. But here's the thing. Someone in their group just recently discovered these police reports. Patrick says that they just use this incident as a way to justify the harassment that they've been doing for five years. The pests have since moved off kiwi farms and have regrouped on a new farm. Called the new Opie and Anthony form. So they started this, this website that, you know, unlike Kiwi Farms, which is more of a global stalking website, this one is just absolutely obsessively fixated on us. This new form has hundreds of comments and threads devoted to Patrick Tomlinson. And they're all about our lives. They're every tweet I send out, every picture we take. It's like everything that I, you know, everything that I say online, everything, you know, every time a book comes out, every, you know, just, uh, if I wash my fucking car, they're talking about it. These people are insane. We, we cannot adequately describe how obsessed these people are. They don't, they don't have anything else in life. They don't talk about anything else. They don't think about anything else, they don't do anything else but try to kill us. You know, anytime they find any kind of bit of information, then they create this whole entire story, like, Patrick washes his car, well, he's washing it because he probably, you know, was by this murder that happened in Milwaukee and there was mud in the area so he was probably over there or, you know, or whatever, I mean, like, it's, it's, like, it's, like, oh, he's probably, you know, Building a new fence because he keeps exposing himself to his neighbors or whatever. That's another thing. Like they've gone after us in kind of like these municipal ways too. Like we did build a new fence. They reported it to the city as though it was out of like not under code. Um, we had to go through that whole rigmarole and it was fine. The fence was fine. I posted a picture at one time at one point I was replacing an electrical outlet because the, the, our house is, 120 years old. And so, you know, it was it's quirky. So I was, I replaced an electrical outlet and upgraded a bunch of other ones and put a picture of like the old one. And it's like, well, there was the problem. So they called the city pretending to be our tenants saying that they almost had an electrical fire. And that we need to have our house inspected and brought up to code. An inspector called me and was like, yes, we got a report from your tenants. I'm like, well, that's funny. Cause we don't have tenants. When did the swatting start? Once they started their own website, then there were, there were no rules at all. You know, they, they didn't have any. Admins to, to answer to, they didn't face any, they don't face any consequences for anything that they do. So, I mean, they, they openly post screen grabs from, you know, every time they, they text me a harassment, which they've done literally dozens of times a day, every day for five years. I mean, I have blocked literally thousands of spoofed phone numbers from these people. So like in this interim time, some other things. that happened. They've docked us on, they docked us on Colfax, which is a white supremacist website called Colfax was a website that it was, it was very short lived, but it was basically, um, a place where white supremacists were cataloging, uh, known interracial couples and then putting their, uh, getting their addresses and private information together so that they could be killed. Now, as soon as the FBI saw that, they ripped that website down right away. But we were, we were doxed on that website because again, they were trying to get us in, in, in trouble with, uh, you know, with, with neo Nazis. So the other things too, I mean, you know, we get voicemails and text threats all the time, threatening to kill us, burn down our house, skinner pets, rape me. Um, kill my family. They've physically stalked us. They've come to our house multiple times. They wrote on the side of our house. They wrote on his motorcycle. They have left like flyers in front of our house. Like with their inside jokes. They have all these like inside jokes. They like litter and leave like food. Crap and whatever. Nikki and Patrick sent me a surveillance video of a man driving up to their house in the middle of the night throwing eggs at their car. This happened at least three times. They've also impersonated both Patrick and Nikki online. They created all these fake accounts pretending to be him, like, hey, I got suspended, but this is my new account, and people are starting to believe. The fake accounts that were actually him. I mean, just straight up pretending to be him. Use every, everything, um, my author photo. And then they would go around, especially to this most, especially to women and people of color. And Start sexually harassing them or, or sending them racist messages. Well, again, while pretending to be me, because they're trying to destroy my reputation and they're trying to, they're trying to destroy my, you know, my ability to make money in the industry right now, they're doing it to, to Nikki's mother, like she, and she's, she's, you know, Has her own, uh, consulting business. And so they're running around all over the internet, dozens and dozens of times pretending to be Nikki's mom, because they believe falsely that we're both poor, that, uh, that I don't have any source of income that, that her business doesn't exist and that we live off of her mother and her mom and that my mom, uh, bought her house financially supports us, which she thinks is hilarious. Um, but also like that she made. You know, by creating me and the fact that I'm still married to him means that she's a bad mother because I can't make good decisions. Not only are they attacking his reputation online, Patrick says that they are trying to destroy both their careers. When his books have been released, like they were just mass flooded on Goodreads with one star reviews and it has had a direct, like has had a direct effect on his career, um, ability to get his books out in front of people and whatever, Like people are not looking at a book with that has like an average of two stars. His last book launch was like one of the worst days ever because it would have should have been like an exciting, fun thing. Like your book's published. Yay. And it's come out and it was terrible. It was like one of the worst days of our lives. And it was hugely upsetting. He's a licensed insurance agent, um, which is he gets residual income from that. They called the insurance office and suspended his insurance license, pretending to be him, which could have cost. Us all of the money he makes off of that tens of thousands of dollars a year on almost lost. They have his social security number. They've opened or attempted to open numerous credit cards and destroy his credit. They order stuff online. Like we have some furniture that we have because for some reason they. Like ordered it falsely, but it got delivered to our house and we had, we were like, it's from Kohl's I think. And we were like, come pick it up. We don't want it. And it's not just Patrick. I speak at conferences. I speak at like summits, like virtual summits and stuff like that pretty regularly. And. You know, a lot of the times, I mean, I, well, every time I have to have a conversation, an awkward conversation with the people behind the thing and say, look, I'm a victim of stalking. What kind of moderation do you have on this? Are there going to be comments, uh, like, is it going to be posted on YouTube? Are the comments going to be open? There's a chat running where, yeah, where people are watching the webinar and commenting on things and they'll show up in there, like they'll show up and say like horrible things while I'm trying to do this talk, you know, and. It's wild. They've physically stalked us across multiple states. They've taken, especially when I'm at conventions, because I can't hide the fact I'm speaking at a convention, you know, like the whole purpose of it is to bring out an audience and to, and to get more people in. So those things are, you know, my schedules for those are always public. Can't hide that. And so they have, they've stalked us and taken spy shots of me in Washington DC, in Detroit, in Chicago. They've, they actually like minted an. They've minted NFTs of photos of him from those events where they were physically stalking. But, but why you? Like, that's what I don't understand. I know it's not the Norm Macdonald thing, but why you two? This is it. There is no why. They want to kill people. They've just decided that they've latched on to us and they've built up such a crazy mythology around us that they have all these ideas about who we really are and what we really like and how we're these, it's actually really funny. Cause they, like, they try to make us look like horrible people. And even doing that, they're pretty unsuccessful because we don't have. I mean, we're not horrible people and we don't really have any skeletons or anything. And like, we're pretty, we're both pretty open about ourselves and like, whatever. And it's weird because they're sitting here trying to like get other people to make moral judgment on us when they are doing all of these things. No, I was going to say, do you think, cause we're just talking about your case, right? But do you think that there are other. Patrick and Nikki's out there that are just not as vocal as you are, or are you kind of like their poster child? We are the only people that this group goes after, but certainly to an extreme degree. We know people, I mean, there are people in our spheres also that have had the same issues. So, I mean, they've certainly gone after a lot of people and they use, I mean, they have kind of a playbook for the method, like all the things that we described and they, they know that they are things that they can get away with. And, um, They kind of have like a playbook that's like, here's the things you can do. Cause they do these similar things to lots of people. Also, they just consistently and dramatically continue to go after us. Yeah. And they, like they, they, the playbook is a good, is a really good analogy because like these people learn from each other. You know, like they go and they figure out new things. It's like going to prison. Yeah, pretty kind of, you know, they, they go to Kiwi farms and they see and, Oh, that's a neat idea how we can fuck with them today. Here's what we'll do today. Oh, that's another thing they did. They delivered how much mulch? Oh, like six cubic yards of, of mulch. Because there's like a free service that they like chop up trees and then deliver mulch. So they tried to, they tried to block our car in with just this. The amount of mulch that then we had to figure out how to get rid of. And we finally figured out what company even dropped the mulch and whatever. But yes, it's just this constant, like, huge pain in the ass for you. Like, how did I come up with this stuff? Because this is, this is all, it's truly all they do. They don't have their own lives. They don't have lives. They don't have jobs. They don't have families that care about them. This is their entire existence. That's insane. So I'm sure there's more. I have so many questions in terms of like, the, the, their side of the story. You keep saying that there's their side of the story. I still don't see it. I just, I'm not saying that there, I was saying that there is no other side. And that's the thing is that I just caution you when you go and look. First of all, it's terrible for your mental health, so be careful. And second of all, you know, they try to make these, like, there's several things that look like documentaries or whatever, and they're just absolutely rife with bullshit. Like it's like they've made video documentaries. That's what I was talking about with the YouTube channels earlier. I mean, there's, there's one YouTuber in particular. We don't know who he is, but he. He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. And he, uh, just takes whatever these people say as gospel and puts it up. Like this cleverly edited commercial narrated by an AI, Norm Macdonald. The video starts off with Patrick Tomlinson describing a horrific act. And I warn you, this next I was giving away free sausage, uh, to homeless people, which I had made out of the bodies of African American children that I had kidnapped and ground up into pepperoni in my basement. Once upon a time, there was this angry little piglet named Patrick Tomlinson. A stout little fellow boasting fat round cheeks and an upturned pug nose, Patrick spent much of his life writing a series of insufferably dull tales, plagiarized from the likes of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. As a science fiction author, this tubby little menace fancied himself as lord of the nerd. A portly hobgoblin sitting atop a mountain of social outcasts. But such a sad spectacle could very well be forgiven if not for the greatest of Patrick's sins. A mistake that would quickly cost this sweaty little hog everything he has ever held dear. Tweeting that yours truly, Norm MacDonald, is not funny. So be sure to catch this incredible tale of Patrick S. Tomlinson as he traverses from subreddits to courtrooms battling the most mentally depraved corners of what we common folk call the Internet. So, so yeah, with the, with the whole pepperoni thing, that was May 2020. So almost three years ago now. So what they, what they did is they made a, uh, they made a fake Craigslist ad here in the Milwaukee Craigslist. Um, and they used my name, they used our home address. They used my real phone number. And, uh, created an ad that said I was giving away free pepperoni that I made out of black children that I had kidnapped from the neighborhood and ground into sausage in my basement. And then they used that as an excuse to call the local police to like blame me for kidnapping and murdering children. So they called the police, used this ad as like backup for their, you know, I have a story and this is really happening. And look, he even posted about it on Craigslist. The Craigslist ad features a picture of a black baby with the following description, and I quote, Times are tough and with people succumbing to the Trump virus, I have taken it upon myself to help feed those in need. Every week I go out and find the best and tastiest meats in the city, take them back to my basement and grind them into delicious succulent pepperonis. Give me a call or text me. Ask for Pat. And so then at 11 o'clock on, I think it was a Thursday, um, Nikki and I had been You know, we were in lockdown. We've, we'd been in lockdown for weeks. So we were drinking, so we were drinking and so, yeah, we were binge watching some, we were binge watching some show on Netflix. We'd had a few drinks at that point when somebody starts bashing on our door. And I go to the, I go to the door just in my bathrobe to see two uniformed police officers with their hands on their, on their pistols. Uh, and the first one demands to know where the children are. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? The pests over on the online forum waited patiently for the footage of the police responding to the pepperoni call. You see, they filed the public request for the body cam footage of the swatting incident so that they could sit and watch and laugh about it. You could read comment after comment as they waited to see the fruits of their labor. But they, I mean, they weren't there for very long and they never came in our house at that point, not that time. And then, so that was the first, that was the first incident back then. And then there was one other one in November of 2020. Okay. So November of 2020, one of the establishments that we frequent had a fire. And it just, it was, it just, I mean, they, it almost destroyed the place and it was really horrible. And basically they called the police as a tip that to say that he. Burn the place down. And one of our favorite places. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. We would burn it and yeah, burn it down. So they, they called the F they're not the FBI. They called them walking PD again and said, yeah, um, we just saw Patrick Tomlinson running away from, uh, this fire through the alleys, carrying a, carrying a bag. You should go talk to them. So then we got visited that night by the cops, but then, um, the swattings really started in earnest last July. So leading up to this, um, They were ramping up like nuts. I get some influencer on social media who's a social worker got some racist message from me. He turns his following on me. I get just barraged with phone calls, texts, emails, you racist bitch, like all of this stuff. So I had to explain the stalking situation and the You know, obviously it wasn't me. They were very understanding of everything, but they suspended my position for like a day. They gave it back to me pretty much immediately once they figured out everything that was going on. So I'm dealing with all of that. My grandfather's funeral was at my mother's house. Here. And then he lived in a cabin in the north Woods of Wisconsin. So we were basically doing one at her home, and then we were doing like the actual funeral and burial up there. So they knew all of this, of course, because you know, obituaries have information where you go visit to the visitation and whatever. And it's all online. It's all online. Um, they also, I mean that's another thing they do by the way, is um, they leave. Comments on people's obituaries that are horrible. So they did that to my grandpa, but my father died in 2015. I mean, his whole obituary page is like just all this shit from, from them. And yeah, so, I mean, they have no, like no limit to what they're, they just don't care. Yeah. So I'm up north and then that's when the first of the. More violent swattings, so that was the third one, basically. Here's security camera footage of one of those swatting incidents. Hello? Hello? Officer Okerwocki, police. Uh, we're aware We're fine. Yeah, we're aware of the situation. I just gotta give you a card with my name on it. If you're home just yeah, we're both home. Just throw it in the mailbox. Please. I'm good. I appreciate it Some of these swatting incidents are not eventful like the one I'm playing for you right now. What was it this time? Said something about you shot your wife. We're aware of the situation. So did I shoot you honey? Oh, I'm fine. No first one shot Thank you. Sorry for wasting your time this morning. Have a good day. Bye now. And then it is now escalated and over the last 10 months we've been swatted 39 times. 39 times. Last count, Patrick and Nikki told me that that number is now in the 40s at the time of this recording. We've been swatted 18 times this month. It was 18. Yeah. We actually haven't been swatted since Tuesday and it's felt like a vacation. Oh my gosh. But obviously, you've been swatted so often by the same police department that they should know by now that, don't they flag you? Here's the infuriating thing. When Nikki was up at her grandfather's funeral and I was home alone, it was about, it was like 1 o'clock in the morning when somebody starts, Banging on the door. Um, I was, I came out of a dead sleep. I put on my sandals and bathrobe to go down and answer the door. Um, and when I saw that it was the police, I was immediately pissed off. The security footage shows Patrick in his robe being restrained by four officers. He just stood there by his door. Not resisting or anything as the officers handcuffed them. Not even two weeks prior, our stalkers, one of them had, like I said earlier, they, they text us and harass us and threaten us over, over texts, uh, every day. And one of the texts had been a threat to SWAT us again. And so I, that day called the Milwaukee police district one, which is our, which is our district where we live. And I told not only a dispatcher, but one of the sergeants there that it's like, Hey. I just got another text from these people who are stalking us. They just said they've just threatened to swat us again. So if you get any sort of weird calls or a hostage situation or a shooting or anything like that to our address, it's bullshit and they're trying to use you to kill us. So I actually, at the same time I had contacted the FBI and told them that we are probably going to get swatted. I explained the number of things that I explained to you, like these people have been fucking with us for years. And I mean, they're serious. This is probably going to happen. So I had had conversations with two different people at the, at the district one police, police office told them that we were going to get swatted. Not even two weeks later at one one o'clock in the morning. There's, there's half a dozen officers out there. They have, they have. There's footage of officers surrounding the Tomlinson home and one officer shining a flashlight through his windows. They have, they have shotguns, they have assault rifles, they have their pistols drawn, um, and they're flashing their flashlights in my face as I come down and I, I lose it. I'm like, I fucking told you guys this was going to happen. And here you are doing what you were told by criminals. And they. Didn't get the goddamn memo. And so they rushed me on my own porch, handcuffed me behind my back. My bathrobe flies open. So now I'm naked and handcuffed on my own porch at one o'clock in the morning, surrounded by police being held by being held in place by two of them. They, they go through our house. They demand to know like the demand to know where, where my wife is. I'm like, my wife isn't here. She is not home. She is at a funeral. Oh, this is during the funeral. Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm looking at swatting number six, which is nuts. I can't believe they didn't get the memo after swatting the number. Is there anybody in the house that shot? No, this is the 27th time because we've been swatted here. We have had violent response from the Milwaukee police department. Half a dozen times. Yeah. I mean, like, well, including just a few weeks ago, Um, yeah, where I had assault rifles again, I mean, yeah. Never come to this house again. You personally, you personally never come to this house again. We are at the whim of like, whoever is on the clock, who's ever scheduled. You fucking mice! You're still bringing assault rifles to my house! You're still traumatizing my wife! The next time you fucking idiots roll up with assault rifles, here! 27 times! 4 times today! Try to have a better day, sir. Fuck you! They don't have any cohesive thing connecting their different shifts in department, like not, I just, there's nothing, so it's, it's insanity. So I mean, at this point we've had nearly every fricking district, one officer come to our house at some point. So like a lot of them just know from experience now, the last one on Tuesday, the, a sergeant called me, they didn't even come to the house and this is like, and he goes, this is what we're going to try to do. Well, most of us. We're going to try to give you a call and just drive by and not disturb you. And I was like, that would be amazing. That would be great. You should do that. It only took them 10 months, 39 times, 39 times to finally get around to this. Well, it's just a such a waste of resources. Yes. It's does your heart, does your heart still race every time you get swatted? I mean, we've gotten, I don't want to say, I don't want to say we've gotten used to it, but I mean, you know, like this, this last time when they brought fucking assault rifles out again, yeah, of course your heart's racing. I mean, we've, we've had guns pointed at us now by more times than, Probably anybody outside of military or law enforcement. I mean, I, you know, she's, she's had assault rifles and shotguns pointed at her. So have I. And there's, you know, they just weren't fucking getting it. They just were not understanding the situation. And it happens, happens so many times. Next time on Pretend. So what's the deal with these guys? What do they want anyway? Is it really because of a Norm Macdonald tweet? I mean, there has to be more to this story. That's next time on Pretend. So this is part two of The Pests. I originally wrote and produced three episodes. There's part one, part two, and part three, but there will most likely be a part four because as I mentioned in the previous episode, The Pests, they found out about these episodes. And I am in touch with the administrator of that form and plus some other pests. And they have a wildly different story to tell. All right. That's it for this week. If you want to listen to all the episodes right now, go to patreon. com or subscribe to pretend plus on Apple podcasts and all three episodes are available right now. Take care.