Who's Afraid of LaDonna Humphrey part 12

Ladonna Humphrey: I grew up in Southwest, Oklahoma, really small farming community, and I was actually born into a sect.

Speaker: you know, I, I don't use the word cult. But I do use the word sect because I do believe that, um, there was a lot of indoctrination there, LaDonna Humphrey told Jason Blair with the Silver Linings podcast that she was raised in a radical church run by an authoritative figure. Their practices included faith healing, speaking in tongue, And laying hands for healing. This church rejects the use of medicine and doctor intervention, Believing that praying to God is the true means of healing, for He is the ultimate healer.

Ladonna Humphrey: It's called the church of the firstborn. I'm not sad to out them in any way whatsoever. And It was really one of those things that was forced upon you. It was extremely religious, extremely zealous. you know, example, people are expected to stand up and confess their innermost sins on Sunday mornings to the entire church.

Speaker: You're not allowed to be vaccinated. It's, it was very extreme. And, you know, being exposed to that as a young child was really kind of a bizarre thing, but you don't know any different. You just know what you know. I really, really pulled hard away from it, wanted to have nothing to do with it at all. Um, and was angry for a really long time. But Margot, LaDonna's sister, tells a different story. audioMargoElston11180617643: Well, this church is a very strict Southern Baptist. So they have some beliefs that I certainly don't agree with. I don't know that I would call them a cult, but I'll audioJavierLeiva21180617643: They're just a kind of extreme Christian type of thing. Yeah. audioMargoElston11180617643: they don't want you to stray away from the church at all. So that includes. Not being able to go to college for some reason, Another thing is they don't believe in doctors and my mom wasn't having that. it's the church that my father's parents were in. and it's just. what was there, how they grew up. audioJavierLeiva21180617643: So. That's it. There was no certain culty thing that we were indoctrinated into, Yeah F For my long time listeners, you may remember my Prophet series, where I did a deep dive into the Word of Faith Fellowship. The word of faith fellowship is considered a cult by some because they've been accused of physically abusing church members and forcing men and boys to stay in isolation for months, even years. they're also known for cutting members away from their outside world, their family, their friends. So I could kind of see where LaDonna is coming from

Ladonna Humphrey: also a part of the sect is if you have a family member or someone in the church that's not following line with the church doctrine, they, they rejected them, which meant they had to leave the church and leave their family and you are not to speak to them or have anything to do with them.

Speaker: And that regularly happened in families. And that in and of itself was traumatic. But what that did in my life as an adult, and I still struggle with it is that if I feel it's, it's really easy for me to get emotional in a situation and want to completely reject somebody. And that comes back to those roots of what I was taught growing up. Others could say that the Church of the Firstborn is just a very conservative church, but let's give LaDonna the benefit of the doubt here and call this place a sect. growing up in an oppressive environment doesn't have to define who you will become as a person. I spent a lot of time with the cult that I covered and I still keep in touch with many of the people who were strong enough to escape. Most of the former cult members use their experience to grow and become better people. But some of the trauma that LaDonna is accused of inflicting on her friends, family, and co workers seems to be the very thing she's criticizing about the church she grew up in. Seems to be the very thing that she's criticizing about the church she grew up in. Like the course of control, the isolation, the manipulation, and pinning people against each other just to create dependency. Today, we're going to continue our expose on LaDonna's non profit, Oasis of Northwest Arkansas. The women in recovery report being subjected to strict rules with severe consequences. they expressed living in constant fear, feeling that every move is monitored and scared about the repercussions of attempting to leave. in today's episode, the voices you will hear are not from the residents. Oh no, it's from the house managers who carried out LaDonna's rules. I'm Javier Leyva, and this is Pretend. Stories about real people pretending to be someone else.

Javier: Cindy!

Speaker: ////intro////Javier: Cindy! I met Cindy at a park in Bella Vista, Arkansas, right outside of Bentonville, where the two oases of Northwest Arkansas houses are located. Cindy wasn't just a resident. She was a house manager who enforced Ladonna's rule. cynde: So I, um, went to treatment in December of 2019. Okay.

Javier: So you were a resident at first? Yeah, at one point, yeah. And

Speaker: cynde: that's what I used to tell the girls. I'm like, see that bed right there? I was the top bunk. When I first reached out to Cindy, she responded that she was worried that my podcast was going to result in Oasis being taken down. What happens to the women? To the children? Where will they go? Have you considered that, she wrote. I told her, I really hope that Oasis doesn't go down. There's a huge need for sober living facilities in the area, and these women can't afford to go anyway. And these women can't afford for it to go away. I told her that I think the board needs to seriously consider if Humphrey is the right person to lead the organization. I would like to see an audit to make sure that the women are receiving the benefits that they're expecting to get. After a few back and forths, Cindy agreed to meet with me. My first question was, what changed your mind? cynde: at this point, I said, if I don't, then I'm just as guilty, and whatever goes on forward, I'm a part of. It was Caitlin's interview and that's what when I talked to her yesterday because she was like you know I really wanted because but I really didn't think you were so naked. And I was like, I, I did want to, and I said, but it, I mean, without sounding dramatic, it brought the trauma back. Like the yes ma'am. Like, that is mandatory. And, like, when new women would come in, they'd be like, K or thumbs up, you know? Shit, would I get the phone call or the text straighten that up. And I'd have to go to these women and be like, you need to learn respect. Like I said, Cindy wasn't just a resident. She was a house manager who enforced Ladonna's rule. cynde: And I was just as ugly. Right. You know, and if you can't, then you need to, there's the door. We do it Ladonna's way. I WAS LH on propertycynde: I was her on and this was her words. I was her that was on property

Javier: So you were her proxy.

Speaker: cynde: Yeah And

Javier: were you like is that your natural management style?

Speaker: Like if you had to do it your yourself, like would you I think to a certain extent you have to run the place Like a tight ship, right? Because you have a lot of people living there and all that But cynde: Get everybody to get along. Somewhat, because I do have a background in law enforcement, so there is that take control of the situation. Like, you're done. Get your stuff. You need to go. And I tell them, it's nothing personal, but this is how it's gonna be. Like, you have to leave now. You failed a drug test. You let your, whatever it is. You know, I, I'm not here to debate it. I'm not here to discuss it. My job is to get you out of the house. like most cults oasis of Northwest Arkansas has a defined hierarchy with LaDonna at the top and the managers acting as the middleman. Cindy told me that this hierarchy reinforces the notion that questioning, at any level of authority, Is equivalent to questioning LaDonna herself.

Cynde Was A Mean Girlcynde: And when you have that fear of, well, uh, where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna, you know, and I'm not saying she forced me, but I also knew I had to, I had a thing to do.

Speaker: Managers are there to enforce the rules, oversee expulsion, and carry out disciplinary actions. They comply, they earn ladonna's praise and ladonna's praise is worth everything because the alternative is the fear of being kicked out and losing your support structure cynde: You know what I mean? And that is what got me, you know, but then that can be taken away. Like one day I was that and the next minute the girl next door was like, I don't even know what I did to lose my position I spoke with Melissa, who was another manager at Oasis. She told me that not all managers are abusive.

Mel: some of the managers have heart and they know what to do with that authority.

Speaker: Some genuinely care for the residents and try to use their position to provide support. However, even well meaning managers are trapped within the system, often forced to comply with LaDonna's directives or face the consequences themselves.

Managers With A Heartmel: They either, either it goes to their head and they become abusive like LaDonna, because keep in mind a lot of these women that are recovering acts, you know, addicts and stuff. Once they're given a management position, they can write people up.

Speaker: They can, you know, of course, as directed by LaDonna, but some women abused it and some women like, Me I turn it into a positive even though I had to write people up There's a way to go about it and it doesn't have to be in a cruel way It can go in and and most of the managers on campus. We are all We are oasis. Like any successful cult leader, LaDonna Humphrey maintains a public facade to attract new members and raise money. but residents say that behind closed doors, she's manipulative and controlling Madonna, Madonna. She wants this done. She wants that done. And it's such a chaotic environment that everyone is literally so exhausted by the end of the day that we like fall into our beds. the residents and the managers I've spoken to say they are constantly busy. Being exhausted prevents them from stepping back and seeing the big picture. Cult leaders use physical and mental exhaustion to break down resistance and enforce compliance. to break down resistance and enforce compliance. then you have the emotional manipulation. LaDonna's unpredictable behavior and threats of expulsions creates a constant state of anxiety and dependency. Cult leaders often use the fear of punishment to keep members in line cynde: I don't know that we were, but if you ask anybody, oh, she's LaDonna's best friend. They're best friends. I thought we were You know what I mean? So I was in that, like you said, that inner circle.

Trackingcynde: but my rules were a little different.

Speaker: if my life 360 had gone down it probably would have been turned around You know, I mean, but wait a minute. I was also trusted. I wasn't a brand new person.

Javier: So you were a manager. You had already Graduated graduated. So why is she tracking your location?

Speaker: cynde: It's part of being on the house in the house.

Javier: That's crazy. Is that crazy?

Speaker: cynde: Everybody and then it got to the point if you let your phone die It's immediate dismissal according to the handbook Um, and then it got to a point that she would have the managers, uh, like a certain manager would observe or, you know, watch the 360 all night to say, well, so and so's here, so and so's there, and so and so's battery's about to die. So then it was, um, if it goes below 40, you'll be written up. 40 percent battery? 40%. Oh my God. Make sure your phone is charged. Look at

Javier: this. Look at my phone right now. I'd be kicked out. Or close to being kicked out. I'm 50%. That's insane.

Speaker: just the idea of constantly being watched creates a constant state of anxiety among the residents and the managers. this sense of paranoia suppresses any attempt to resist or to question the system. and the tracking of their every move can erode trust with the residents and the managers. As they may suspect each other of reporting it to LaDonna. This distrust, I remember when I covered the Word of Faith Fellowship Cult that even the husbands and the wives couldn't share concerns because of fear that the other might tell on them. IS LADONNA PHYSICALLY THERE?

Managers Are Her Minonsjavier: Is she there or is this Is she like physically there every day, or is this just like through the phone? Like, how is she controlling the situation?

Mel: Through Messenger. We are all on the threads. And so she is basically calling the shot, and then there's the managers. The managers kind of just get stuff done, make sure Oasis is running smoothly.

Speaker: We, the managers, are basically her minions.

Javier: And she's kind of like the man behind the curtain.

Mel: Yes. Yes. 100%. She only came to campus one time and that was, I don't know, maybe a couple of months ago when shit was going down and she showed up and that was a huge deal that was on it.

Speaker: But yes, to answer your question. Yeah. She just does it from the comfort of her, you know, her phone or her computer. And that's, what's so sick about all of this is because she just sits on her bike, little. Game pieces to her, like let's kick the hornet's nest, chaosMel: and she would always create almost like these no win situations. You could be giving your day, your every day, everything you've got. Working your program, taking care of things you've got to do in your personal life. Personal life plus working and figuring out rides and babysitting and just all of it and then she would create some kind of chaos and it was just, we were exhausted HOUSE MANAGERSThe question is, how much do these managers get paid to carry out LaDonna's orders? The answer is exactly what you'd expect.

Javier: How much do house managers get paid or do or all They only get a a room.

Speaker: cynde: They get a room or, um, now we have several now that have graduated. As far as I know, they don't get paid, but. I also,

Javier: I don't know. Because you could like say, Oh, well, this is where the money's going. I'm paying my manager. She's not even paying the manager.

Speaker: Like we talked about in the previous episodes, residents at Oasis don't like it, like we've talked about in the previous episodes, residents at Oasis don't get much other than a roof over their heads. They say they lived in cramped and sometimes unsafe conditions, but where is all that rent money going? And what about all these donations? those were rhetorical questions, by the way. it seems like there's a lot more money coming in that there's money going out. For instance, during the COVID 19 shutdown, an organization called HAARC Offered emergency rental assistance for people experiencing financial hardship. (https://www.harknwa.com/assets/Files/ERA_Flyer_Updated022522.pdf) The requirements are having an income of 80 percent lower than the medium income. The person has to be eligible for unemployment benefits or has incurred significant financial hardship. cynde: like some of the new girls, which that made sense. They didn't have money. They didn't have jobs. That was okay Then we all had to do Every single one of us whether we were caught up on rent You And so, and it pretty much was either you do this or you I just, I didn't need it. I couldn't figure out. I thought, Oh, she doesn't mean me. And yeah, she did How much money

Javier: did she make?

Speaker: cynde: I wish I could remember I know mine I think was like a couple months

Javier: like ballpark.

Speaker: Like how much did you get? cynde: I don't know if I remember correctly. I want to say like eight thousand dollars or something Because I wouldn't I mean she had me go back like nine months

Javier: Oh, wow.

Speaker: cynde: Yeah.

Javier: So, like, if you multiply that by all the girls, I mean, like, everybody probably got different amounts, but still, that's a sizable amount of money, right?

Speaker: cynde: Yeah, there was one girl, and she, and I know her very well, and I trust everything she tells me, she always paid her rent on her paychecks every two weeks, so she was straight. Yeah.

Noise: Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: cynde: And she said, Well, I don't need to pay it. I don't. You know, I've got money and savings. and she's like, I don't need to do this one. I said, No, you do. And she made her. So she did it. And then she graduated and went on with her life. Well, she got covid and she's got Children and she couldn't work. And Hark said, Well, we've already given you money.

Javier: Oh, my

Speaker: cynde: God. So she got behind on her, her rent. For real, right? For real, yeah. Because, because I,

Javier: previously she was getting the money, but it was going to Oasis, right? Yeah, no,

Speaker: cynde: we didn't see any of it.

Javier: And if Oasis, if you didn't see it coming into Oasis, where did that money go, you think?

Speaker: cynde: It, well, it went to her. I mean, that's who we pay our rent to. Residents and managers are required to submit their financial details to LaDonna, including pay stubs and bank account information. But it doesn't go the other way around. Residents, and the public in general, are left in the dark when it comes to OASIS and their financial transparency. Let's go back to our comparison. Cult leaders often misappropriate resources meant for the collective benefit to enhance their personal lifestyle. The question is, is that happening at Oasis? Let's take a look. Remember during the last episode, some of the residents were complaining that Oasis promised them transportation support, but that was a lie. Oasis doesn't own any vehicles. cynde: I guess it was like a grant or I'm not sure to get money for two vehicles and she asked for 15, 000. Um, and like I said, this was a meeting. They said they would take it back to their people. You know, they met with us and prayed with us and all this. I mean, it was, Yeah, not my thing, but okay.

Javier: You were in that meeting?

Speaker: cynde: Yeah, I was there, and um, and I'm telling, you know, how great it is, and how we need, we really need this transportation for the women. Oh, you really did, right? Yeah, and I mean, I had a car at the time, so, but you know. But the women needed it. And you're not allowed to have a car, so like, if I came to the program, and I had a vehicle, and a license, and everything was straight, she does not let you. You have to have permission to have it. Well, that makes

Javier: sense, right? Because you can only park so many cars, right?

Speaker: cynde: Yeah, but when we don't have any. mean, she's made people take them when they've had a fine parking spot. Wow. She made a lady leave because she bought a car.

Javier: Wow, okay.

Speaker: Well, but So that's interesting. So you go to this meeting, you pray about it, even in the meeting, everything is a faith based type of donation. How much was the money? How much money? We cynde: asked for 15, 000.

Javier: And did they give it to you?

Speaker: cynde: From what I understand, yes. I was told that we did get it, so we were all excited. And another person that was at that meeting, had been looking for vehicles. And she was telling me, she goes, I just don't understand why we're not getting these, these, I found two perfect Instead of purchasing the intended vehicles, Cindy wonders if the funds were diverted to LaDonna's purse. cynde: She said she bought a new Tahoe and it was not a brand new Tahoe. I believe it was like a 2018, but it was newish. Yeah. Thank you for calling Schuber Mitchell Homes. I reached out to the organization just to confirm the donation. I'm still waiting to hear back after the break, we're going to talk about the reaction my podcast had on the organization. after the break, we're going to talk about the reaction to my podcast, And the effect it's had on the Oasis House since the last episode dropped. It's not good. ///AD BREAK///You may be wondering, has LaDonna ever been accused of harassing her Oasis residents by using spoof numbers or fake emails? Nah, she wouldn't do that to vulnerable women who are overcoming addiction, right? Right? Oh boy, here's Cindy again.

Javier: the whole season we've been

Speaker: talking about like the central theme is that LaDonna has been accused of harassing and like sending spoof emails. Has that ever happened to you? cynde: Oh yeah. No, I would get, um, I've got tons of them. I can't even tell you. It would just come over and over. and like Alicia said, the filthiest language, pictures of, you know, and they'd say, Oh, that's you and LaDonna

Javier: like just really disgusting stuff.

Speaker: cynde: Yeah. I mean,

Javier: why did you think it was LaDonna?

Speaker: cynde: I honestly don't know. I can't explain it, but I got a feeling it was her. It was just a feeling. There was other people, you know, there was, like I said, there was this manager getting one, and then Robert was getting them, Yes, Robert Haggard, the board member, accused of hooking up with the residents. One message, with Robert's picture on it, read, Beware, bad experience, anyone else? He's preoccupied with the size of his, I decline to partake, but he likes to show it off to all the ladies. cynde: and, you know, and then there was, oh, well, maybe it's Cindy. Like, Robert, for a while, was trying to say it was me, and I was like, dude, I, I am too busy in life to do, you know what I mean? Cindy texted LaDonna and asked, quote, Was that you? Tell me the truth. and LaDonna responded, quote, It's me, I did it. Unquote. Dude, this is the director of a non profit posting harassing messages about one of her own board members. A board member, she famously says it's like a son to her. Wow. Don't believe me? I'll post the screenshot on my social media, it's pure insanity. With friends like LaDonna, who needs enemies, right? cynde: Like, it was ridiculous.

Javier: So

Speaker: cynde: best one with that was

Hispanics Hiding Underneath The Bedcynde: somebody got one, and they were saying that there was Hispanics in one of the bedrooms hiding underneath the women's beds. And we were trying to figure out, supposedly, if this one girl was texting.

Speaker: four managers had to go down and check this room.

Javier: For Hispanics?

Speaker: cynde: Uh huh. It was crazy. I could, I mean, it'd take me a minute, but I could go back and you the very first one.

Javier: would be interesting if you do send it.

Speaker: Where are the emails or where they text messages? Text messages. chances are, it's probably like a spoof number, she does make mistakes.And she did make a mistake, a big one. Cindy showed me a text with a selfie of a woman wanting to join Oasis. The person spoke with broken English. I'll read it to you. So I need Oasis and I get ye number. Can I come today? I need housing. she spelled housing. H O U S I N. Cindy asked LaDonna if she recognized the woman from the text. LaDonna says, quote, I know her. Someone is messing with you. That woman is psycho. Unquote. Cindy asked, who is she? LaDonna said, quote, that's Danny's ex girlfriend. Danny, by the way, is LaDonna's husband. cynde: it was an old girlfriend.

Javier: Oh.

Speaker: cynde: LaDonna was like, oh my god, that's Danny's ex girlfriend from, College or I can't remember exactly when but it was and I was like How the hell would Danny's ex girlfriend know how to you know I mean, yeah, and so it was just too much came into her that it eventually pointed to her So, I sent that picture to Alicia Lockhart to see if she recognizes the woman in the picture. And guess what? That same picture popped up in Alicia's text history. In 2022, Alicia was sent the same picture from an anonymous phone number with a message that read, quote, I love pies. Do you love pies or just lies? Unquote. The woman identified herself as Pam. Oh, it gets worse. I've been in touch with a third person who also received text messages from a woman named Pam And these are just the text messages that I know of. she pins people against each otherSo why would she do this? Well, to keep going on this tired analogy, creating chaos is a way a cult leader maintains control. They keep their followers disoriented, dependent, and less likely to challenge their authority.

Javier: but can women. openly talk about like the problems that are

Speaker: happening at Oasis or is that like a big no no? cynde: Um, I mean they do you know, um, but if she finds out it'll be addressed You know, like don't you talk like this blah blah blah. She does not like groups of people getting together cynde: So there's constant Drama in that house. Constant just stuff going on. Nobody can get along. Nobody likes each other. You know, like the dishes, you know, laying out. Yeah, you know, someone tell, really you're going to tell a man for a fork? You know what I mean? Like, and I'm just, excuse my language, I'm just like, this is what happens is women get upset with that because now they have a seven o'clock curfew for two weeks because there was a fork in the sink and this girl told on me. So guess what? There's drama Even when managers started questioning the harsh practices or where the money was going, they never felt safe to talk about it. cynde: you know, it, you know, that eye conversation you can have with somebody. It was like that and I was told we would, you know, talk and she never got back to me Just like the residents I spoke with, these former managers wanted out. But that's easier said than done.

Plan To Get Outmel: I had told Miss LaDonna, like a month or two prior that I had to be very, very careful because I knew that she held the power to kick me out anytime.

Speaker: And I had come too far. I had worked too hard. I gotten my kind of low key got my bank account fattened up. And, but we also had to turn in all of our financial stuff to miss LaDonna, our paychecks, all of that. And I was trying to kind of be, that really bothered me because I thought she knows that I'm on my way out. And I did it in a very professional, like, hey, I just think I'm ready to go spread my wings. And at the time, campus was a shit show. And so I was just trying to kind of Quietly exit the scene, but I have to, we have to let Ms. LaGauna know all of our moves.

Javier: But I don't understand why, you, you were a manager, why, you're not like court ordered to be there anymore, you're there working, why does she need to see your pay stubs and why does she have so much control over you?

Mel: I don't know. I thought it was just normal until I started telling my family like they would want to come to Arkansas to see me and I'm like, okay, we have a mandatory meeting here.

Speaker: You're just so controlled that I don't know why she needed to know. It's almost like If she knows that you're trying to leave and it's not in her control, like that's why she's so bitter on about how I left because I knew it was coming down to the wire. I would, I've been apartment hunting forever and I went and looked at some places and I just wanted to get out. I had enough money in my account. I could make that transition. And so I'd worked a 10 hour shift. So when I left there, I had 15 minutes to get back to campus. And if I'm late, even a minute getting back to campus, I would be kicked out.

Javier: Okay, can I, can I ask you a question there? If LaDonna's not on campus, then who's keeping track of your time? The other managers?

Mel: Yes, like we, every, we have a manager's schedule. So they're either, there's one manager, That is doing count per night, and that is by curfew. If you're Phase 1, you have to be inside by 9 o'clock p. m. And if you're Phase 2, it's 10, and it changes on the weekends. And so every night, we're doing count, which means we go from house to house and bed to bed and make sure everybody is inside and that nobody is allowed to go back outside for the night.

Javier: So you felt like people were watching you is what you're saying?

Mel: Well, I mean, we just, that was just the rule. We were like, we're on my 360 and someone's going to know when they go to do count.

Speaker: They knew that you. Put it on a thread and mess with on I can see where everybody's at like for instance If I was at work, I used to work late night and so come curfew Everybody doesn't count and it would almost be like oh my gosh It's 11 o'clock Mel isn't here

Javier: You're a manager Why are you being tracked with, with a tracking app? Like, I could understand why a resident who's court ordered and maybe that's part of their parole or something like that, but why are you being tracked?

Speaker: You're just there working.

Mel: Um, I was also a resident.

Speaker: Oh,

Javier: I see. Were you court ordered to be there or were you there voluntarily?

Mel: Yeah, I went voluntarily for the structure to kind of transition, I knew that you could stay up to two years. I thought, Oh my gosh, this is perfect.

Speaker: Like I can get that stepping stone recovery based. You have to have three meetings a week because there's a lot of the outlines of Oasis that are very, very beneficial. So I needed the structure. And so, yes, I was not court ordered and that's how I was able to escape podcastMel: because I heard the podcast the night before, um, I got the head but pulling the. One of the girls there, they were like, oh my gosh, Mel. I went into the dungeon, which is where we would all like keep our clothes and get dressed, and they put their headphones in my ear and flipped their phone screen around and it was this cover. you just quit just recently? Yes. Yeah, and still, that's why I'm in a hotel I left on the 4th of July. Okay. I was already making the transition, had the money, just waiting for an apartment to come open. Listen to the podcast, got home from work at Oasis. One of the girls quietly gave me a heads up. I got up in my bunk bed, put in my earbud, listened to the first episode. By the time the first episode ended, my heart was just beating out of my chest. And that's when I contacted my sister, Michelle, keep in mind, I'm in basement of a racist in my bunk bed, hoping that nobody knows what I'm doing, and I'm listening to this podcast and she's texting me and she's like, holy shit, if I could, I would get in my car and come and get you right now. And I'm like, please don't freak out or I'm going to freak out. And I was gone the next day. Next day was the 4th of July. I had enough money in my account. And so I knew that this would be my time to get out. My parents were already on the way down from Missouri. So, 4th of July, So I'm already keeping in mind, okay, my parents are driving me to campus, and We pull up, I go straight into Anita, who's the, campus manager, also one of my homies, like good friends, we've been in the fight together, and I said, Anita, I'm leaving campus, my parents are here, and they all knew, they all knew why I was leaving, or some of them did, my homies did anyway, I told them, I said, it's, it's If you give a shit or you just need to know it is in your best interest. You need to hear it. It's real. It's she's a monster and She immediately grabbed her phone. She knew like keep in mind like these are still my friends We're still doing what we have to do to survive And there's very much that mutual respect with all of us. And so She just there were a lot of tears next thing. I knew just that fast You know, she had to let LaDonna know. Mel is here, she's, um, she's leaving campus. And then, boom, boom, boom, here comes other managers. And I just know it's go time. I go downstairs, start packing my stuff. My parents are out. I tell my dad, don't get out of the car. You know, it's, I don't know, I just packed up my shit. There was a lot of tears. And I just tried to be very quiet and very cautious. And packed my stuff. And I just said, this is bullshit. I said, if I could, I would take you guys with me. But I'll just know I will catch you on the flip side. I knew that I would be blocked. And I get a message from Madonna that next morning or later that night. Hi, friend. Why'd you leave without saying goodbye? And she'll ram through my fucking spine. Javier:

Mel: it was why I left.

Javier: Wow.

Speaker: Wow that that just it really You My heart's racing right now, just thinking about listening to the episode and feeling that urgency, and I hope that the other women don't feel like that, and I, I'm, I, and I, I'm sure they do, and I hate that, because they shouldn't be in that position, you know? It shouldn't be that hard. Right? No, and

Mel: that's the tragedy of all of it, is we deserved to be able to say, we did it. We did it. We completed a program. We're healthy. We're doing it right. Like these women that would come up to me and be like, I get to see my baby this weekend. And I'm like, get to hug them and say, I am so proud of you.

Speaker: Look at you doing this. And then there's LaDonna that comes crashing down and undoes everything that we are fighting for. Even encouraging each other. And it's just, I feel sick, like, kind of like what Kaylin said. I felt, when I left there that night with my parents, I felt like they were getting me out of an abusive relationship. So did my parents. They were even kind of like, oh my gosh, we feel like we're breaking you out of jail. And I'm like, I kind of feel that way. And that is sad, because you're right, it doesn't have to be this way. These women are fighting with everything they've got, and they know this is probably the last chance for some of them. And what's, what's sad is that I felt more comfortable. I feel more at peace now, being back out, and I, I made the choice to jump back out into the lion's den, as opposed to staying one more night at Oasis.

Javier: That's horrible.

Speaker: You know? I was four minutes late. I got lost and had to call the girls and they looked at me on Life360. I'm like, look at Life360. I'm lost. Tell me how to get home. I'm going to be late. I'm going to be kicked out. I'm like, guys, I'm so close to getting my own apartment and I'm just going to be booted out. And I got through that. Uh, LaDonna almost, uh, dismissed me over it. And, but I had the backing of my sponsors, the other managers there went to bat for me. And I thought, I can't, I can't live with the stress that she can kick me. I'm trying, I'm working too hard. I'm trying to do everything right. And I'm like, it doesn't have to be this way. We, we've, we've done it. We're doing the work. It doesn't have to feel like this. It shouldn't be. I deserve to be able to hug those girls and leave with a moving truck. And. Be like hey, I got mine in an apartment. You guys can do this too. You can make it But I had to do it like this because what donna can't fucking control herself and

Javier: she's

Mel: sick

Javier: I just don't I think the audience is gonna have a hard time understanding How a woman can have this much power and control?

Speaker: sitting in her living room, just typing on her phone.

Mel: Yes. It's the facade. We've all been to church with her. It's the, the epitome of a facade. Ooh, look at me. My big family, we're going to church. We do good things for women, this organization. But when you lift that mask back, Oh my God, it is a fucking shit show.

Speaker: She is sloppy. She, even the way she runs Oasis is sloppy. It's us. It's the women with heart and drive. It's not it's she is literally making things worse for women who are trying and it's a facade. She's good. She's really good. After listening to all the podcasts, there's no, she's just perfected it. And only some of us, I think we're smart enough to be like, um, something's not right here. And so you've been our saving grace for a lot of us that were like, Oh my gosh, it's now or never. We, we can't, there are a lot of people that I love. All of my friends that I've gotten used to every day waking up and having each other's back. She had all of them block me. And even my bestie that's there, she called me bawling before it happened. And keep in mind, I had already left campus. And she called me crying and she goes, Mel, she's about ready to make us block you. Just know that. Just know that it's not a sign that said I know I said, I love you. Just keep going I will see you on the flip side and that's fucking tragic That's painful. Like even i've had so much shit even ripped away from me And i powered through it and it was just another nail It was just one more thing that legonic did have control over me if she could take them away from me and it's just it's sick And I know that a lot, a lot of the girls know about the podcast, but don't want to listen to it because I think it might be too scary for them. They don't want to get scared. Yeah, hotel where is she nowJavier: Are you did I feel free? Where where is your apartment situation? I thought you had one lined up Um, it fell through

Mel: a lot of people around here. They just, they, I went on an app called roomies and I've been trying to line up roommates and some, um, just haven't fallen through. And so I don't know, since the tornado apartments are hard to come by.

Speaker: And so right now I'm just, uh, just looking, but I feel better. I feel free. you know, i'm safe and financially stable I'm in limbo i'm, you know paying 400 bucks a week for a hotel, but I feel like i've made that neck I did the right thing.

Javier: Wow. Well, I mean, I hope that things look up for you and. You're a manager and you're feeling this way. I can't even imagine, you know, a woman who's doesn't have to deal with this and how they feel,

Speaker: I

Want To Be Their Voicemel: I want to be their voice. It's not okay. This is not okay. And, and every girl that is fighting the fight, all the lost girls, all the,

Speaker: we're giving it everything we've got. We really are. We know what we've done wrong. We know we've burned our bridges. We know we've hurt. We know we've We're trying though and I got to be their voice.

Hope For Oasisjavier: Do you have any hope for oasis as an organization? Because certainly it shouldn't be shut down like it's it's very necessary.

Speaker: No It is You

Mel: It is a wonderful program when you look at, when you look at it in a whole, it very much helps women. It helps you get on track and, um, my hope is that it is just ran the way it's supposed to be ran. It's a beautiful tool, um, for those of us who are out there that just need a break. A stepping stone just to get back to what we're trying to do in life and to get back on the right track and right our wrongs.

Speaker: And, and all of it's there. The layout is there. But, um, LaDonna Humphrey does not need to be running that organization and any of her people, especially Robert, does not need to be on that campus at all. That's disgusting. That is bringing, that is like shooting fish in the barrel. Letting a predator just come on to, even to come on campus, just absolutely turns my stomach. CULT VIBES/SQUIDGAMESJavier: I'm listening to these stories, it really, and especially after talking with the managers, it gives me serious cult vibes, the way she runs that place, and it's just so crazy. It's like squid games, you know, you never see the puppet master, the game master, you know, he's, Hiding in his room and yet he's having all these people carry out all his, you know, bad shit I mean, it's just

Mel: yeah And you can't see it because you know, she has helped a lot of women there are Women who don't have anyone kind of like you when you said They don't have any family, or their family, their parents are no longer here, or their parents are the ones that taught them how to use drugs, or how to sell drugs, and they're no longer in the picture, and LaDonna very much was that savior.

Speaker: Like, oh my gosh, yes, here's your story, or like I understand your story, and here, let me protect you. I don't know, it's like it's, I think some of the reason why some of the girls don't want to listen to the podcast is because Madonna's been like a mother figure to them, and once they find out what kind of person she is, it's gonna break their heart. Yeah. And that, that is what hurts, is because it happened again to them. You know, a lot of these women are getting out and getting away from very abusive relationships, and have been hurt their entire lives. And this is just another, this is just another layer of, oh my gosh.

Javier: And they're, they're relying on her. They're depending on her.

Speaker: Yes, very. And that's what a cult does, right? They, you, you, you described a cult, uh, from top to bottom, like they exhaust you, like that exhaustion that you were discussing, like coming home and just like being overworked to the point where you're so tired, you can't make rational decisions. Uh, it's all consuming the, the creating chaos and then being the savior, having that savior complex and, and, uh, be having that fear hang over your head, you're going to get kicked out. You know what I mean? Like that is very cult behavior. It's crazy. Yes.

Mel: It's got to be stopped. Yeah. It just has to be, because some of these girls aren't going to make it, but some of these girls, they aren't mentally strong enough.

Javier: It's

Mel: going to break them

Speaker: Mellisa told me that it wasn't easy listening to the podcast.

Podcast Con'tjavier: it's very hard To

Mel: listen to.

Speaker: Like I've listened to the whole podcast, I would have to do it in sections. I would have to take breaks because the further I would listen, the more, it's kind of like when you've been Vic victimized and you get that moment where you're like, it wasn't just me. Mm-Hmm. , but, or it wasn't just my thoughts, it was I wasn't going crazy was really happening. When you listen to the podcast, that realization kind of sets in and you're just like, oh my gosh, I this what's real and. There was a real abuse going on and there still is and it's it almost takes your breath away. there wasn't one time Javier where I thought no way I can't see Madonna doing that not one moment. It was just oh my gosh. She did it I, I just even know by her character, it's just like, ooh, it's horrifying, like how do you, you've got to be really sick to prey on people, women who are giving it everything they've got in life and you're just toying with their lives. Like that's dangerous. This is a life and death situation to some of these people, to some of these women.

Sometimes I Feel Bad For Ladonnajavier: It, you know, every now and then it doesn't happen much, but every now and then I feel bad for her, you know, because I'm like, I just feel like I'm just piling on at this point. I'm like, okay, I get I think people get the point, you know, she she does this kind of stuff. But I'm like, Am I overdoing it? And I'm like, and then I listened to this.

Speaker: And I'm like, No, I'm not overdoing it. This is ridiculous. Yes,

Mel: you're not overdoing it. And I have moments like that too because I'm like, I think about, you know, I've seen her hold a baby before and that is probably the purest moment I've ever seen or heard from her. I think she genuinely has a love for kids and she loves children.

Speaker: And so when I remember that moment of seeing her hold the baby and that joy, and she just looked human for a minute. Um, it's hard, sometimes I feel sorry for her too, but I think that it's just because you and I. You know what humility is. Right. And, um, But no, I don't think that you're taking it too far. I think, um, She's gotta be stopped. She's gonna continue to ruin people's lives, is what I have to keep in mind myself. All right, that's it for today's episode. I want to end it with this on the Oasis Facebook page. There's a post from the Board of Directors. It says on behalf of the OASIS of Northwest Arkansas Board of Directors, we wish to express our full support for Executive Director LaDonna Humphrey. For nearly seven years, Ms. Humphrey has led our agency with unwavering passion and excellence. She is dedicated, hardworking, and committed to making a significant difference in the lives of women in recovery and their children. despite the increasing challenges in her life as of late, we stand by LaDonna Humphrey and firmly believe that each obstacle will only strengthen her leadership. Rest assured that everything from our financial management to the execution of our program guidelines is conducted with the utmost excellence. We, the Board of Directors, are united in our support for LaDonna Humphrey and eagerly anticipate the future of Oasis of Northwest Arkansas under her leadership. Signed, the OASIS Northwest of Arkansas Board of Directors. But, not all is honky dory in OASIS land. In fact, On August 1st, they were supposed to have a Jailhouse Rock Gala, which was a jailhouse gala, let that sink in, to raise money for women who are transitioning out of jail. Besides the fact that that's completely tasteless, general admission was 50 a person, and a table of eight was 350. It's rumored that they are postponing this event. So we'll see if all those people who paid money to go to that event will receive a refund.